Pain is Temporary

"Pain is temporary. Pride is forever!"

- Bystander sign at Mile 21 of the NYC Marathon

While we might legitimately spend this column celebrating our President’s weekend accomplishment in finishing the NYC Marathon; we've decided instead to honor all the runners, their families and support teams, and the rest of you reading this by directing our focus to the "Power of Intention."

Intention: Desire Made Manifest
Two girls; one job. One sends a xeroxed resume in a plain envelope with a generic cover letter. The other analyzes the prospect company, Googles the executives doing the hiring and checks backgrounds on LinkedIn. She writes a tailored letter, outlining her desires and qualifications, but only after talking about how she sees the needs of the company and how she'd like to help. She puts it down on carefully selected paper in a custom font, putting her style, desire and analytical skills out there on the line. Who wins? Not sure, but one of them earned a greater share of our attention. Intention is Desire Made Manifest. Speaker or sales person, you'll find that the extra time spent rehearsing your delivery, polishing your signature, finishing out an extra special opening are all ways of demonstrating the degree of desire to be heard and understood. Content is one thing, but the intention to really engage and penetrate the listener's mind separates the ones who win from those who are merely smart.

Intention: Senior to Sensation
A marathon is not an everyday event. Even for those exceptionally trained and experienced runners, there comes a point where the body says No!, the mind starts fabricating believable explanations about how stopping is the right thing to do, and how humoring the muscle pains working their way up from the tarmac, through the legs into the mind might make sense. But then, the spirit checks in and says, "Hold on, we're not here to humor the whining muscles, but to finish what we started!” Somewhere in the last third of the race, we discover that while physical sensations and strategies are important, it is pure unadulterated desire made manifest – Intention – that hurls the body through the last miles and across the finish line. The intention to perform is senior to and can outweigh any momentary sensation of fatigue, fear, or doubt. So you're a speaker. What do you want to achieve with this presentation or sales call? How badly do you want it? Can you take it beyond the message all the way into the outcome?

Teams: Fired Up From The Center
Finishing a marathon requires that families awaken with the runner, who leaves the household in the outrageous early morning, finishes ever longer training runs, and gets to work after a quick shower. It's a team thing – and it all starts with the deep intention of the runner at the center of the sphere of committed energy which grows for a year or more in advance of the event, builds to the climax, and ends with the success of a single runner, crossing the line. At the finish is one runner; in the wings are entire families, office supporters and sponsors. It begins with you, but your excitement, desire and intention are required to put the fire in the belly of the team. As a leader or manager, it’s not enough to have the big idea; or even to sign the check to cover a training program for the masses. The fire won't ignite without your week in/week out demonstration of the intention that you’re still interested, committed and holding yourself accountable – along with everyone on the team.

A lot of people express an interest in running a marathon. Few enter. Fewer finish. It's about intention.

A lot of businesses express interest in creating winning sales teams, and integrating story, product and service. Intention is the difference.

Sustained Intention is what distinguishes mere desire from manifest accomplishment.

Pain is Temporary. Pride is Forever!

Last weekend, Lucy Lanzar, tireless President of The Fusion Group, finished the NYC Marathon with a time of 4:56:00. Congratulations to Lucy, and to her community of dedicated supporters.

Active Awareness

"I was on the subway on my way to work, was sitting on the express same as every morning looking out the window watching the local stops go by in the dark with an empty head and my arms folded, not feeling great, not feeling rotten, just not feeling. And for a minute I couldn't remember, I didn't know, unless I really concentrated, whether it was a Tuesday or a Thursday or a... for a minute it could have been any day.

Arnie, I gotta know what day it is! I gotta know what's the name of the game and what the rules are without anyone else telling me. You gotta own your own days and name 'em, each one of 'em, every one of 'em, or else the years go right by and none of them belong to you. And that ain't just for weekends, kiddo."

Murray Burns (played by Jason Robards)

"A Thousand Clowns"

Oscar Nominated Movie and Tony Award Winning Broadway Play

by Herb Gardner

1962

When people enter a room these days so enraptured with their Blackberry; they don't really notice or connect with the moment, the meeting in which they are barely engaged, the building, the business housed in it, the room in which they are sitting, the walls which hold the art they are not noticing, or the people with whom they aren't sharing the space...

Much of life is conducted with the body in one location, the mind somewhere else; and the spirit experiencing a deep malaise. "Zoning Out" is not a bad thing necessarily, but it can rob us of the opportunity to be fully connected to life, the present, the moment, the place and our immediate feelings and responses.

People in airports walk around heads down... not noticing or participating in the shared space, but communing with the Gods of Cyberspace. It's a cool place, cyberspace. But have we gone so far in search of constant and instant entertainment, that we have lost touch with "The Now?"

The universe of which I constitute a small part is one big interconnected living system. Wherever I find myself, there's an opportunity for a "happenstance event." I meet someone by accident that turns out to be a big influence on my life. I overhear a conversation that changes my perspective on an event. I encounter a humorous server – or a cranky one that needs a big tip... A fellow traveler helps me hoist a bag into the overhead – but only if I'm paying attention... These "random occurrences" might not lodge if I'm not "firmly enough seated" in the moment. If my mind is somewhere else, it's difficult for the universe to manifest a meaningful happenstance.

See? Right there – two rows over, that's the girl! Your one true love! Pull out the ear buds! Reach for her! Nope you missed her! She was sending an e-mail...

Moral of the story: There may be more for you in the universe than you've come to know; but you have to be more completely present with body, mind and spirit aligned, engaged and poised to pick up on it when the magic moment arrives. People who are otherwise engaged – are not engaged...

Suggestions about becoming fully present in the space and time in which you find yourself:

1. Start by Noticing Yourself!

Breathe! “Breathe in a circle” as opposed to in/out. Allow the body to relax into a cycle of calm as you open up to the moment. Slow down and connect... Push your awareness out to the corners of the room. Turn off and stow the Blackberry/phone/computer. The meeting is about to begin.

2. Notice: What's happening...

What's this seminar/meeting about? Is it gonna work? Should I be here – or get back on the road? Is there any wisdom here? Is there any fun lurking around the corner? Is the facilitator sharp or can they use some help? Is the speaker a pro, or something less? Is there any meaning to be discovered in the content? Walk around the office, and get a sense of what the place is about. So is this experience going to succeed on its own, or should you jump in and make it better through your presence and commitment? What can you do to make this gathering (and the next one) better?

3. Notice: Who's in the room!?

Is there anyone in the room who can help your career? Who has seen something you'd like to know about? Who knows someone you should meet? Who can teach you something? Who knows something you should know? Who has any insight into how life works? Who can you help? Who can you serve? How can you make their day better through your presence?

4. Notice: What's in the room!? Notice the Room!

Is there anything in the room of any interest to you? Is there anything there worth owning, acquiring, finding out about? Is there any art? Why? What does it mean? Where's it from? How'd they acquire it? How’s the Feng Shui? Is there a particular seat or part of the room in which you feel more comfortable? Or not? What would you change? Why? How?

5. Finish: by forming the mental question, “Why am I here?” What’s the cosmic event that I am here to witness? How can I play my role in this moment?

Active Awareness means Being Fully Present in the moment, ready to accept or contribute something meaningful.

If you "show up" like this (Body, Mind and Spirit) in your daily life, you'll not only see that girl when she appears, you'll have the big smile she's been looking for all her life!

And that ain't just for weekends, kiddo!

The Authentic Guest

Visiting a professor of Tai Chi, hoping not to break some ancient Taiwanese taboo, I decided to apologize in advance for any "ugly American" idiocy over lunch. "Excuse me Master, I want to be a good guest, and I'm very aware of just how foreign I might seem - all white hair, blue eyes and Yankee-ness. Aside from being from Mars, would you please tell me if I'm doing something off base and impolite?"

He lingered for a moment, contemplating his soup bowl, and then said, "Jennifer, a Taoist prefers an authentic guest.”

Wow. Forgiveness, permission and a lesson in one sentence.

Perhaps there's a connection between the way I was thinking in Taiwan and the way many view the world of training. At issue, the desire to avoid embarrassment by not doing anything wrong. It appears that traditional training is founded on the desire to make people “look like good speakers by correcting bad habits" – a core intention – which we believe to be misguided, wasteful and destructive. At the risk of redundancy, it’s one thing to “look like” a good speaker; quite another to actually be a good speaker.

Most training, with its concern about grinding away all the preexisting bad habits and producing a smooth, inoffensive exterior; manufactures a product that isn't bad. Yet enforcing all the rules and backing people into a safe mold, produces an outcome that is not yet good and absolutely isn't genuine. Such training yields a person without any obvious bad habits, who can talk for a while on a business subject while behaving in a bland, safe and normal manner. They will not offend anyone. So if your definition of good is "the Absence of Bad" then this is your ticket. But in reality, the absence of bad simply equates to ordinary. Attempting to become ordinary, average or safe doesn't strike us as a great accomplishment. Such an individual, while safe and inoffensive, is still a loser.

We look at it this way: the combination of habits and behaviors someone brings to the platform are an expression of who they are, what they know, and how they see the world and their contribution to it. Telling them to stand differently only addresses the physical part of the equation. If you ask them what they intend to express – or accomplish – by speaking; you engage the whole being. As they start engaging fully, their posture improves, along with their language and eye contact. The bad stuff falls away as they connect body and spirit through mind. Fusion. Sure, we can contribute helpful learnings about structure, argumentation and the artful use of visual aids and props. But the real magic is when we get someone to be authentic. And authenticity (even without polish) wins! Winners are not known for their lack of badness, but for putting you in touch with their special, unusual and authentic worldview. Their goal – and ours – is not safety, but greatness.

So why "force" everyone into a three-box template? Fair question. (Of course, we suggest two, three or four...) But remember, we're not saying you must, but that audiences seem to prefer lists of two, three or four... after that, they zone out. So what do you intend for them to do, what's the best way to accomplish that with the audience of human beings at hand? Short, sweet, well structured and delivered with every ounce of creativity and desire you can muster! Don't worry about offending! Concentrate on being an authentic guest, and you'll win the day!

“Fear Is Not Solved By Facts!”

J. R. St. John
Speaker, Consultant, Business Woman
Founder of The Fusion Group
(1952 - )
 
In this environment, where the news constantly brings word of another confusing or polarizing development, it’s not surprising that audiences can many times be characterized as “frozen by fear and indecision.”

A sad by-product of our mentally bifurcated culture is that we often find speakers and sales associates attempting to erase or address our fears by citing facts. Why? Well because it’s what they’re good at.

As any mother can tell you; when the children are afraid is not the time to prove that there’s no monster in the closet. What is called for is some old fashioned comfort and genuine interested listening!

You say you’re a wholesaler and you’re not being paid to stop and listen or empathize – but simply to talk; then get on the road to the next appointment. Really?

Because the fact is: Your clients can get your information just about anywhere. The mail. The Web. The Media. But the single thing they can’t get anywhere else is a genuinely interested partner – listening full tilt.

Give a little thought to this: What’s in the boxes is important – it’s the main reason for speaking. But what you put in between the boxes (the “empty space” between the facts…) is what can set you apart from the competition; and allow the client to see you as the only person out there willing to connect with and resolve their fears.

“Attention must be paid.”

– Excerpted from "Death of a Salesman"
   by Arthur Miller
   American Playwright
  (October 17, 1915 – February 10, 2005)

"Pay Attention!" You hear it from Childhood.

“Look at me when I talk to you!”

The phrases don’t do the concept justice.

Attention is a little bit like money. It comes in the form of particles…which are very valuable. You can spend them. Withhold them. Make a gift of them. Keep them for important occasions. Or waste them – much like money. There are limits though, to how many attention particles you might generate at any moment…So they are rare – special!

Catch someone unaware and send a particle at them – look! And they’ll feel it and look back, startled. They might react, smile, blush, flinch, duck, bristle…the opportunities are endless. They feel the weight of the particle and respond/react to it. And their reaction tells the tale of their character and their immediate state of mind.

Attention particles have flavors – as many as you can conceive. Interest. Curiosity. Desire. Distaste. Fear. Anger. Lust. Disinterest. Appreciation. Trust. You get the idea.

Ever spoken to a group? Get keyed up? It’s all those particles – takes a while to absorb them and then calm down. It’s a "high" that all performers acknowledge. The power of group attention (and we hope, adulation) can change your physical state and raise your metabolism.

It’s just that strong.

So. What?

Notice how you are spending your rare attention particles.

Are your children getting their share? How about your mate? How about your office or patrol partner? People in your platoon, on your floor, on your team?

People who are “attentive” are “attending” to the human need and desire for attention among families, friends and communities. “Paying Attention” is a powerful way of saying that the person you are looking at is important.

Spend it wisely.

As a speaker, manager, sales professional or leader, your attention signature will be an immediate indicator as to your power and charisma – or lack thereof. The ability to focus and direct the flow of attention particles anywhere, anytime, for any duration is one feature that distinguishes the most formidable speakers and people.

Attention must be paid.

Invest it wisely.

It will be repaid – with interest.

“I’m having a conversation with my audience, and we’ll both be dead by the time we’re done.”

– Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen “The Boss” 
American Songwriter, Performer, Rock & Roll Star 
(September 23, 1949 - )

"Speeches" are a bit more declarative. Plays more dominated by the script. Presentations more work and outcome focused. But all are at their best when they become conversations.

But it’s not really about call and response – we’ve all sat through rote unison reading and responsive hoo-hah. This is the real thing: When a speaker says something and looks out into the audience and divines the direction and emotion of the last row…it’s not about the verbal response but about the connection.

The real skill a great presenter brings to the arena is the speed with which they can take the conversation to depth.

In our judgment, that skill is comprised of a solid connection, a clear intention and a lofty purpose. It’s a Fusion of body, mind and spirit.

Bring this skill into your life by breaking your paragraphs down and delivering the sentences one at a time – taking a breath in between. See what happens. If you garner some interest, continue. If you get a question, that’s a win! You gain points in this exercise by stimulating the interchange. As your skill improves, you’ll discover that you become interesting to the degree you manifest interest in the listener.

Stop presenting, acting, declaiming and airing your point of view and start a few more conversations!

The Tie Break

“Well we all have a face that we hide away forever.  And we take them out and show ourselves when everyone has gone.  Some are satin some are steel. Some are silk and some are leather.  They're the faces of the stranger but we love to try them on.”

“The Stranger”
– Billy Joel
  American musician and pianist
  (1949-

Two Equally Qualified Firms...

Pitching for the same business. The matrix scores are dead even. The pitch docs are three inches deep and equally unread. Two teams with scholarly, thoughtful men and women. Impressive client lists, billions under management. Nice scarves, serious suits. Sharp brief cases. DETAILED presentations, intensely reasoned, covering the multitude of issues. Everyone’s donned their costume for the occasion…

Then, approaching a climactic summit, the speaker drops his pen and the spell is broken – THIS is a turning point.

That single unscripted accident gives us a momentary glimpse behind the mask and into the mind and character of the man – how will he react to this "intrusion on the plan?"

He stops, smiles a little and fixes you with a direct glance and says, off script; "You know, the real test of a Portfolio Team is how they handle the unforeseen event." He bends, picks up his pen and goes back to the material. He's got your full attention and later over coffee, that is the moment which everyone recalls – the tie break. The masterful improvisation under pressure.

It's ironic. We work so hard to create the perfect team pitches that bring us merely dead even with the competition. But that scripted perfection tends to obscure, rather than reveal the true character of the people on the team. In the arena, it is actually the unforeseen events and small mistakes which can bore through our layers of arranged intellectual camouflage to reveal who we really are. Our style in handling the accidents and challenges in the pitch room, or in life, are the tiny windows into character that allow us to determine who we trust, respect and sometimes hire. The accidents strip away the mask and leave the person revealed – and we can then choose to like them or not…

Some suggestions:

When Pitching:
The script earns you the right to be in the room. Yet the questions and accidents will often break the tie. Practice improvising! Develop your poise and reflexes for handling the unforeseen event. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!

When Receiving a Pitch:
Surely the content – the text – is important, but find a way to force the occasional improvisational moment on the team. The way the individual and their colleagues handle it will give you ample additional information about who these people are, and whether you want them on your business.